Episode 18 is about Sexual Mindfulness — the basics of what to be mindful of with one significant life hack included. You don’t want to miss this!
(BTW … Mindfulness *in* sex — the breathing, the flowing, the attention to connection while f@cking — is in episode 19 :)
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~ ON THE RADIO: ~
Saturday nights at midnight on KEPW-LP, 97.3 fm in Eugene, OR
and streaming at http://kepw.org (click the green "listen live")
Episode 18 is about Sexual Mindfulness — the basics of what to be mindful of with one significant life hack included. You don’t want to miss this!
(BTW … Mindfulness *in* sex — the breathing, the flowing, the attention to connection while f@cking — is in episode 19 :)
Send Us An Email:
intoyourbodypodcast@gmail.com
Social Media:
Twitter / Tumblr / Facebook
TAP TO SUBSCRIBE AND DOWNLOAD FROM:
ApplePodcasts / Google Play / Google Podcasts / Spotify / Stitcher / TuneIn
RSS-feed readers:
https://feeds.buzzsprout.com/199078.rss
~ ON THE RADIO: ~
Saturday nights at midnight on KEPW-LP, 97.3 fm in Eugene, OR
and streaming at http://kepw.org (click the green "listen live")
The disclaimer, but topics heard on into your body is primarily meant for mature audiences and is not intended for younger or more sensitive listeners. Those suggestions and opinions heard on this show does not necessarily represent the views of this station. It's management or their underwriters be suggestions are not meant to diagnose, treat or cure any illness or other malady discretion has been advised. And now enjoy the show.
Speaker 2:Hello and welcome to episode 18 of into your body. I'm Dj. I'm Sam. This is the show that helps you get into your body so that you can get them
Speaker 3:out of life. And this week, this week. What are we talking about this time? I don't know. You don't know either? No. You haven't come up with anything. Oh my goodness. So we're just freestyling. Cause I thought you came here and thought I had something to do because last week you were a bit under the weather and you, you're feeling you're feeling a little ill. So I'm sad that I had to do last week's show by myself, but it wasn't beneficial show for that and it was all about the prostate. A very important episode which we do encourage those prostate owners and those who love them to go listen to it because we offer. I offer a few tips and tricks where you can get the most out of your prostate. At least get to know it. I keep saying, get to know your prostate up close and personal. Personal. Your prostate already loves you. So how can he love it back? What could you do? So that's last week's episode. That's number 17. And you can listen to that at, into your body or buzz sprout.com. Yes, but this week, this week, but this week we're going to talk about what whatever actually comes to mind as far as sex and sex, health and sex. Mind Mrs Gote. Mindfulness goes my sex mindfulness. So let's start with that. Okay, well that's just something that I just pulled out of my ass just now. Well, let's make it something. It sounds legitimate and official. Mindfulness sex mindfulness. I think that's an all encompassing term where. And I can. Okay, so let me create this. So since I created this term right here on episode 18 of into your body, let's talk about what we think, what sex mindfulness can be. So I would say one of the biggest topics, and I hear everyone saying consent, I was like, okay, here I hear Ya. I hear Ya. I hear it. That's the biggest one. Consent is sexy. Yes. Consensus. Sexy sex, sexual mindfulness is getting to the yes. As you said before, getting to the yes. Which is important. Yeah. Because if it's not a yes, it's a no. And both parties or however multiple members of any party, however, members, how many members
Speaker 1:for many members in the party, everybody must say yes.
Speaker 3:Well No. So that everybody is clear exactly what's going on. And even within the yes, there are certain scenes and types of sex and kinks that you'd want to say yes or no to. There's a whole list of yeah, because you can't go into any. You can't go into any situation and say, well I'm open to whatever, but because whatever includes everything in the whole wide world. So it's like, okay, you stand here while I hit you with this car. Are you into that pink? No, no. Some people are into that. Or how about I take this dildo and you shove it as far up my far up my ass as you possibly can. Some people say, okay, some people are like, what are you talking about? Some people aren't into that. Some people would want to say no to that. So there's even consent within the consent itself that needs to be acquiesce to or talked about. Otherwise people aren't going to have a clue as to what you're going to say yes to. You can't say, oh well I'm just fine with whatever.
Speaker 1:That's part of why I like the idea of having a limits list. Yeah. Have your hard limits. I will not do that. Right. You know like mine is no kids, no animals, nothing that breaks the skin and draws blood. No permanent body damage, nothing that should go flush. Okay. Yeah. Those were my five hard limits. Everything else we can talk about
Speaker 3:and is open up for discussion
Speaker 1:or at least discussion. I don't know that it will happen, but we can talk about it.
Speaker 3:Right. I definitely have a short list of no's based upon certain phobias and concerns that I'm had. Like there's stuff that I will absolutely not do certain types of edge play. I will not do. I just won't do. Um, partially because of health reasons because I have, I do have delicate health issues, so the old. So there's issues about that and certain positions I cannot do because I just cannot, I cannot, I cannot physically do those certain positions. So I had been hanging from the chandelier is either. Well some can, some can't. I'm just not into it. The floor is too far away. Way Too far away to dispatch. You want something solid that you can hold on to like, okay, I know that's there. No, it doesn't have to be solid. I mean, um, what do you call those things? Trapeze. I'm down with that. Oh, like a swing. I like being inside of a swing. I think every. Doesn't every kinky person have like one of those swing things in there. Like it's either installed, it's either installed in the ceiling or they have one of those freestanding sex swings that they have. I don't have one myself. I don't either. We're supposed to have one, aren't we? I think so. Merry Christmas to us. Okay, so mindfulness also includes listening. Definitely listening. That's also on the site of consent.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, because if you break consent because they're not listening,
Speaker 3:but also being open to listening because some things you have to repeat over and over and over again. You have to be okay with people repeating it over and over again.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you have to be an active listener, not just waiting for a break so that you can say whatever you need, you think you need to say, but actively listening, taking time, hearing what the other person is saying, letting that sink in and then sometimes you have to repeat a little bit of it back to him to make sure you understood what they were talking about or ask questions
Speaker 3:because I don't want to have to be left hanging and trying to figure out what are you saying, what I think you're saying and what is your definition of mumbled dog face in a banana patch? The same. The same definition as mine. I'm pretty sure it's not. Okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no. Yeah, definitely. Mindfulness and then also during sex you need to be mindful of the things that you are doing[inaudible] and the reactions that your partner is having.
Speaker 3:Being mindful of what your partner is liking and not liking it. Part of sexual mindfulness for me is keeping those communication. Dynamic communications going. Still talking. Yeah, but also
Speaker 1:partners mindful. Let your partners know that you're enjoying or not enjoying[inaudible]
Speaker 3:and that talking doesn't necessarily have to be verbal. There's. It doesn't have to be verbal, it can be nonverbal. If you have that ability to communicate to each other that way. There's signals, there's types of eye contact, facial expressions, how the body reacts to certain things. You pay attention to how body reacts to certain Stimuli. You know whether they react negatively toward her, whether they recoil with intuit our. If there's something where they react to it, but they say that they like it, you'll pay attention to all those little things. Well, that's kind of important. Very important. If you want, have a good time. Sexual mindfulness also includes being open to whomever the other person is. If you're going to go that far, if you're going to go that far with that person, you need to be okay and open to that other person. Yes. Let's say if they have. I'm thinking of his own Ag Barn Jeff cartoon that was drawn by men and grinding in the life and health series a while back, but it did point out to there's this couple and one of the caveats added was be sure that you know who the other person is and then one of the characters inside the box says, honey, you know I'm a soup eating pirate, so fire up the fire up the grill. Let's get you something crazy like that that you knew what I was going in. So of course with you know, what your sexual partner is going in on the business and knowing that it can also be fluid, that they're not going to like the same thing all the time. You'll be open to the fact that your partner may be fluid to changing, you know, they may like one thing one week and want to do something else another week where they just want to keep it consistent. That's how they are. Yeah. That would be boring as hell, but that's me. Well, some people just want them to have that reassurance, that comfort, that. No, I wouldn't want that either. I wouldn't, I would, I would want to keep it mixed up or some people want to have that consistent to know that, okay, they're good at this. And then move on to the next thing. Move onto the next thing. So people like the, uh, the attic kink method data keep Yada kink. It's like, okay, they kinda like spanking. Now I want to add on the next one. Okay, now the handcuffs. Okay, let's see how well they do with that. I mean, oh, but still part of the sexual mindfulness is still coming clean to your partner and saying, this is what I like to tell me what you like and communicate. Speak Up. Say something. It's okay to talk about it. Nobody's going to think you're trashy or nobody's going to think you're what ever old fashion Bsu or fed speak up. Say what you think, what you feel, what you want, and say what you don't want. Life is a whole lot better if you actually tell me exactly what it is that exactly what is wanted or exactly what is not wanted so you can work around it. Yeah, we need that kind of sort of information around that. Alright, so coming up in the next segment of, into your body. I have no idea what we're going to talk about. You give me a minute. There's always so much more to talk about and we'll be back next on into your body after this and we're back. Thanks for listening to into your body and if you want to join the conversation with us, you can send us an email into your buddy podcast@Gmail.com. You can also reach out to us on twitter at, into your body one, that's the number one, and we're also on tumbler into your body podcasts and we're also on facebook into your body podcasts. Come and join the conversation with us. We love to hear from you. Yes, we would. Going back to the subject of mindfulness since we found ourselves squarely landed on this topic and it's a good topic. Yeah, I think it's a good thing to have important thing to think about now that we've created. I guess we created this subject. His whole entire subject has a, it has a, uh, an, it has a weight to it. Okay. Mindfulness, mindfulness toward your partner, I believe also includes getting tested, getting tested, being tested. It's just important. Uh, it's not, it's not just important for your sexual partner. Yeah, your health is very important and of course we always say all the advice that we give is important, but consult your, your consult your healthcare professional first and always consult your healthcare professional when it comes to your body's sexual ability and your bodies sexuality. When you talk to your healthcare professional, you're going to have a clear roadmap of what your body is and how it operates, no matter how you identify socially throughout the world. So Ha. So one of those things that you are responsible to yourself for his regular health checkups, std, sti testing. Again, regular health checkups. A lot of. I remember some of the advice saying that whenever you have a take on a new sexual partner, it's a good idea to go get tested and to make sure that you have no sexual transmitted diseases. Thankfully, because of the all the blood draws that I do through to my due to me trying to be healthy. I know I always get. I get a clean bill of health except for that one little thing, that little thing, so that one little thing that says you're eating too many French fries, please back off on that, but other than that, no sti is no stds in your system as far as we can tell. Right? So Hey, lucking out, writing out on that one as far as as far as that goes. But even the little ones that come up like those little cold sores in your mouth, you know those are. Those are little bits of herpes. So of course you don't want to go down on anyone when you're having, when you have a cold sore because you're risking infecting the other person. Same thing as you know, any sort of infection. While we talked about a few weeks ago, anything that involves multiple contact, that means your windup sharing that you're wearing love sharing it with somebody else, so make sure that your your mouth are healthy, your mouth is healthy, your genitals are healthy, that makes sure that they are clean. They're the lesions, no scars, no scabs that are on them. If they are, then you would want to take it down to a clinic as soon as you possibly can. Now, if you have a family practitioner, you can go see them. If you are unsure, there are other clinics in your area that can help you. You're, if you are somewhere in the United States, you can talk to the county board health clinic, a health clinic that way if you are blessed to have an independent healthcare clinic here in the wonderful city of Eugene, we not only have a couple of pit planned parenthood's, we are also home to a cell of doctors without borders as well. Right? So we are also very fortunate at a shout out to them because they do great work. Uh, so your health is very important. So do visit those healthcare centers, those areas, uh, that will help you be mindful of your body so that way you can take that mindfulness and share that mindfulness with your partner, so all that. So all your partners are to be tested and checked regularly because something as intimate as sex, there is a, obviously there's an emotional aspect to it. There
Speaker 1:emotional, physical, psychological combination in, in sexuality that no matter who you're having sex with, there some emotional entanglement may not be like a longterm emotional entanglement that's still and man, it's just not worth it to get some dread disease like the new gonorrhea that cannot be treated or HIV or herpes or chlamydia or syphilis or I don't know. There's a bad one, hundred more
Speaker 3:and a lot of those and a lot of those diseases are preventable by one checking on your health and to making sure your partners get their health checked as well. Right? A one lover I had in the past was so adamant on safer sex that, that they were a walking dictionary of what you can do for safer sex. Like, here's what you can do for this year as you can do for that. Did you know that you can use a condom as a dental dam? If you're going down on someone? Yes, I did. Well, for those out there who don't know you, you do so how's it gonna? So what are you going to do? Well Hey guys, there's these things out there called flavored condoms. You can get in lots and lots of different flavors. Your clinic, especially certain clinics that that do sexual health testing may either point you to some or may have some in it. They would actually like it very much if you ask them if they have any condoms, lifehack just letting you know. And if you're in college, your college health center will have free condoms for you because they would prefer you use them. Then get a disease, end up pregnant. Those things or you know, life changing and they want you to finish college. Also, if you are a student at a community college, those services may also exist. You would want to speak to your human resources, your dean, your admissions officer, anyone involved in your schooling there will be able to hopefully point you to the right services, but those services, those resources do exist for your added benefit. Very key for very, very key for your sexual health. And alongside that mindfulness of course, use protection where protection, condoms exists. A non latex condoms do exist also as well. For those who have a sensitivity to latex, a brand, I recommend the use polyurethane as one as a particular one and it is so thin. I had to several times I had to stop and wait until her. Alright. Okay, we're good. And then go back in and keep going and keep going because I was just so amazing but it feels good. So for those of you who will, will have eight latex tech sensitivity and are worried about comfort and feel they, uh, companies out there have answered that call and we'll help you out with that. And of course those are always available from your friendly neighborhood, Queer, friendly sex positive store. And then let's talk about what kind of Luby's with condoms. Oh yes. Let's get on that afterwards. Yes, but we have another break that we have to attend to. So this talk about sexual mindfulness will continue here on into your body. You can join the conversation with us either on twitter, facebook, or Tumblr, and email us into your body podcast@Gmail.com. We'll be back with more into your body after this. Oh, we're back. We're back to into your body. I'm Dj and we're talking about sexual mindfulness and also right now we're talking about protection and Lube Lube Moob. Very important that we have at the top about what type of, what type of lubrication you need to use if you are using protection when you are using protection point. What do I mean if. What's that? If all about, you know, we're talking about those of you who are just, you know, want to take care of business, you know, things just started now getting hot and heavy with each other that well yet. Well, what do you have to be mindful for? And that's what we're talking about right now, sexual mindfulness. So when we last left for the break, we were talking about the importance of using protection and now we were stopped before we talked about what type of lubrication when you're using that type of protection. Now a lot of the prophylactic devices, condoms, dental dams, gloves that exist out there just so happened to be made out of latex. That's the majority of the material that they're made out of. Now. Latex is being as ubiquitous as it is, is very useful. It lasts a long time and it has one specific flaw with it that has any kind of petroleum product involved. Basically anything that is oil based will eat anything that is oil based, will eat through latex, so that is anything that is petroleum based so that anything that's oil based. So that includes petroleum jelly, that includes Carmax, that includes Vicks vapor rub. If you're new, are people who do that, so you have to use a difference. So you have these different types of clubs. We'll get into that. That also includes a cooking oils, olive oils, vegetable oils. That also includes Chris go cooking oils, you cannot use those oils you can use. I mean if you want to use them as lubrication, fine, great, do whatever, knock yourself out, but if you're using anything that is late text based, you cannot use those products. You'd have to switch to something that is water based or change the type of material that you're prophylactics or meda mentioned earlier. There is a brand of a mechanism that I use that makes a non latex version that I recommend and there are other non latex products out there. They're like you said, there were nine trial nitrile, nitrile gloves. Those gloves can be used with oil based products, right? They can be, but they cannot be used with silicon base because the nitrile in the silicon gummy gummy glove is not a good idea that. So they tend to stick breaks. It doesn't break it down so it sticks together and you can't. So we kinda wove ourselves into the third type of lubrication that a third type of lubrication that people use silicone lubrication, which is good to use. However, it does have a breaking point, don't use it with any silicon because silicon passilla told me and it breaks down and then you don't want that. You don't want broken down silicone into your body. It's kind of hard to get out. We can recommend something even better. That's just basically plant based and natural base that isn't petroleum products, oil or that's right, and we will want to have those recommendations and we do have those recommendations up on our social media sites as we mentioned earlier before, so you can check us out there and we will be able to talk about those freely there. It is important to find a good body safe. Lubricate goober Kent as well because that is because there's this concept that there's a US moses that happens within the body that absorbs the lubrication that's there as it's. It's true and it's true. So you want to make sure as your body is processing out all of the toxins and everything else as it does naturally, you also want to have one that is body safe so that way your body isn't absorbing more toxins or that it has the ability to just get rid of it. So having a good body, safe water based plant based lubricant is helpful and healthy for you. Uh, for those who you want to use silicone base products, we do say that it's useful but Doobie, but do be careful because a lot of sex toys out there are made of silicone and if you cross silicone lube with a silicone product, it begins to break down and you want to have that happen to your body or have it happened inside your body that would very problematic. Or you pay 40 to$120 for a toy. You do not want it to get ruined to the point where you cannot use it. So use something better for it. For my, for my purposes, I don't use silicone based loop based lubricant because a couple of toys that an old habit to be silicone based, but that's because I. They happened because that's just the best one. That's what's made and it was a and a, a, a wellmade silicone toy can be a body safe toys. So by the appropriate lubrication that can go with that. Yeah. So we went to lubrication. Okay. So as far as mindfulness goes, we have touched upon the subject of consent, talked about, talked about getting tested and we talked about making sure that one uses a safer sex practice services and we also talked about using lubrication as well. So you do have one last thought on mindfulness. One last thought, one final thought hit me. This is one that bothers the hell out of me. Okay. Be Mindful, right? So if the answer is yes, please say yes. If the answer is no, please say no. Don't play around. Don't play games with your partners. It ain't cool. It ain't cute. It ain't nothing. It's yes. Make sure they know it. If it's no, make absolutely sure they even the good book says it itself, even says it in black and white brothers and sisters and children and all of those in between to say yes when you mean yes. Say No when you mean no. Do it. Just do it. Yeah. Yeah. Go. Alright, so I guess that's all. That's all we have right now about sexual mindfulness. If you have your idea of what sex of what sexual mindfulness means to you however you want to pronounce it, please drop us a line and into your body podcast at[inaudible] dot com. You can also hit us up on social media, twitter. Our handle is at into your body, you one that's at I, n t o n y o u r b o d y one the number one number one tumbler into your body podcast, facebook into your body podcast, and you can listen to this show full and complete and uncensored from any place that you can listen to podcasts. That includes apple podcasts, Google podcasts, Google play, stitcher, spotify, and tune in radio. And of course you can tell your Alexa slash any pod slash Amazon echo device to play into your body podcast, and I'll take you to the most recent episode and you can always catch all of our full episodes complete and uncensored add into your body that buzzsprout.com. Thanks to buzzsprout for hosting our show. And as always, if you're listening to us on the radio, you're listening to 97 point three Fm kw, kbd, bill, sue Beth KCI, Pew Dash Lp, f, m in Eugene, Oregon, and online to the whole damn world@Katiepdotw.org. This show is Copyright Twenty Eighteen Dj Beats Address Company. I'm Dj, I'm Sam. This is into your body, episode 18. Thank you very much for listening and as always, don't masturbate. Thank you. Goodnight. Bye. Bye.